GnuDoyng

A few months ago, I started translating some great literary works from English into Foochowese. How, you might wonder, can we possibly express the deepest feelings of humanity with such a vulgar language as Foochowese?! Well, before you doubt further, I suggest you take a look at this tiny piece of work: Lolita in Foochowese version, Chapter 1.

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.

She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita.

Did she have a precursor? She did, indeed she did. In point of fact, there might have been no Lolita at all had I not loved, one summer, a certain initial girl-child. In a princedom by the sea. Oh when? About as many years before Lolita was born as my age was that summer. You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, exhibit number one is what the seraphs, the misinformed, simple, noble-winged seraphs, envied. Look at this tangle of thorns.

Lolita, 我生命其光，我欲望其火。我其罪愆，我其靈魂。Lo-lee-ta：喙舌尾由上岸向下，將換做三下，遘第三下介輕輕碰著牙嚟。Lo。Lee。Ta。

早頭，伊 sê̤ṳng 蜀 kiă 短襪，拔直四英尺十英寸其漢馬，伊是 Lo，普通其 Lo。當伊身 sê̤ṳng pă-pă 其褲，伊是 Lola。著學校，伊是 Dolly。正式簽名其辰候，伊是 Dolores。但是 găk 我懷抱底勢，伊永遠是 Lolita。

Găk 伊之前有過別儂無？有，確實有。講實話，nâ 伓是我有蜀年夏天仈曾愛過蜀隻諸娘囝，可能透底就無什乇 Lolita。Huòi 是著海墘其蜀 bĭk 小王國底勢。啊，是乜候呢？由 hī 蜀年夏天算跨，故著等真 sâ̤ 年 Lolita ciáh 出世，我 hiā 辰候其歲數就大母是 hī sâ̤ 年。汝永遠會使倚望蜀隻刣儂犯寫蜀手蓋一其文章。

陪審團各位先生小姐，頭 bĭk 證據就是乞六翼天使——hī 陣聽 mâ̤ 著准確消息其、單純其、翼翼高貴其六翼天使所 cháik 其。我其心事 nìng-亂亂，dāng 請汝罔聽。